So I don't know if I am just learning this about myself, or if it just now rearing it's ugly head as a barrier in my life. Also it is possible I knew this and tried to forget it. I am told recently that I have quick emotional reactions.
The thing is I don't know what the alternative is. Do I just smile and nod, and let people treat me like dirt, or do I express my true feelings. I know there must be an in between. One thing I do recognize is that I have a tendency to have my feelings written all over my face. My facial expressions can be very dramatic (I am told, as I can't really see them :) and people usually know how I am feeling. I guess I always thought this was a positive thing. Why shouldn't people know how I really feel, who should I fake it. I am easy to read, so this should be a good thing. No one will be guessing. Although these expressions can definitely be misinterpreted. I have been confronted at some point and was definitely not feeling the way a person thought I was. I need to find the balance. I do not want to be void of emotions, or smiling all the time when I am not really feeling happy all the time, but I suppose be more conscious of my feelings could help me deal with them. Also, trying to reevaluate why I have the reaction in the first place. Is it about me, or the other person.
Trying to put this in perspective, but I just don't know how. I don't even know how to talk about it and make any sense.
1 comment:
If you figure anything out -- let me know. I have never been able to hide my emotions; the jury is still out on whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Probably it's both.
Some people will never make good poker players (you, me etc.), but we make great friends :)
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